Summer Skin

Last week I received two samples in the mail and today I finally got to try them out.

I’ll be giving my thoughts on erborian’s Ginseng BB Cream and both the Minéral 89 Daily Booster and Minéral 89 Eyes from Vichy.

I want to state that I’ve never used a BB Cream before but I have heard of them and I’ve heard that some of them can be drying so it’s best to use a moisturiser before applying your BB Cream, I decided to use the Daily Booster first so here is what I thought of it.

Daily Booster by Vichy

I applied little drops on my face and spread it from the center outward, the product felt a little thicker than water and I had no problem spreading it on my face or throat. It absorbed quickly and left no residue behind. The scent is very agreeable, it’s not cloying and once applied it doesn’t linger.

You can purchase the Daily Booster for 21,20€

I have terrible dark circles around my eyes and having a 4 month old who doesn’t sleep hasn’t helped so I used the Eyes serum next.

Eyes by Vichy

I took less than a pea sized amount and applied it under both my eyes, the product felt creamy and thicker than the Booster but quickly absorbed into the skin, like the Booster the scent is not overly present and doesn’t linger.

You can purchase Eyes for 13,50€

And finally I applied the BB Cream.

Ginseng BB Cream by erborian

The BB Cream I received was in the shade Caramel, it has a very pleasing odour, it smells lightly floral, you really don’t need that much product so I applied some pea sized drops and spread it from the center outward. I wasn’t sure if Caramel would match my skin tone but it’s hard to tell that I have anything on my face.

You can purchase the BB Cream for 16,90€

As you can see both Vichy and erborian has helped me achieve Summer Ready Skin.

Mute Again

It’s been a good writing day, I believe I’ve spoken about my Wattpad account before where I have three published works, one super short story Vishal and two poetry based works Tales of An Introverted Expat and The Silence Inside Me.

I updated the cover of The Silence Inside Me and added a new poem.

Cover art by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

The title of the poem is Mute Again and I’ll share it here with you.

Mute Again

I was doing good, I was talking to the world, my words were finally being heard and I could express my every thought, and then…

Then I moved.

To another country where they didn’t speak my language and I didn’t speak theirs.

I was back at square one.

I studied every day, I watched all the movies, all the videos, I listened to music, I read so many stories.

And yet…

Here I am.

Mute again.

Another group of people who don’t understand.
Another group of people who label me, unfriendly, snobby, shy.

I want to scream, I’m not shy, I’m not unfriendly, I’m not a snob.

But once again.

My words fail me, they stay lodged in the back of my throat, they abandon me when I need them the most.

I just want to be free.

Free to speak, free to show my emotions, free to be me.

But here I am again.

Locked in my own mind.

Here I am looking for those who know, those who understands, those who feel as I do, those silent people with so much to say.

My people.

Hope you enjoyed it and if you’re interested in reading more you can visit my profile LLDove.

The Fathers in my Life

Today is Father’s Day, a day I usually don’t care for because of my own weird relationship with my father, so, today I’m going to talk about the many father figures I’ve had in my life and how they lead me to the father in my children’s lives.

My Father

Me and my father 1987-1988

My father is not an easy man to understand, some days you wonder if he even cares, I’ve spoken a bit about this in The Useless Sibling and the truth is it was so much worse, the other day someone asked me what was the best feature of my father that I looked for in a man and I just couldn’t think of one. Almost everything I thought of was something I didn’t want. I didn’t want to be treated as a mistake in my partners life and I sure as hell didn’t want him to view or children as play things for his public persona. That saying that a father is a girl’s first love? Not even close to being true for me.

Two of my most vivid memories are of my parents fighting, one where my mother was going to leave the house and had her keys in her hand and my father grabbed her arm and was pulling it like he was going to break it, I jumped on his back and started pummeling him while I yelled for my brothers, my oldest brother came with a broom stick and my father finally let go of our mother. The second incident I don’t remember as well but I remember my mother bitting into his arm and he was hitting her in the head trying to get her loose.

These were just two extremes but they fully cemented in my head that I didn’t want a relationship like this. I didn’t want a man like this, I wasn’t even sure I ever wanted to get married, all the marriages in my life save one was toxic, cheating, children on the outside, fighting, just a lot of toxicity.

Uncle Luis

Now I’ll talk about that one good marriage in my life, one of my mother’s sisters, Aunty Cathy, married my Uncle Luis, from the very first time I remember meeting him he has always been very nice to me. With my Selective Mutism I didn’t speak to him, I remember feeling very shy around him for a long time but that didn’t change how he treated me, he would talk to me, show interest in my drawings, try my failed attempts at sodas haha, he did everything my father didn’t. My uncle out of everyone in my life is who I based the ideal mate on. My aunt and uncle lived with us for a while and those were good days, I felt heard and seen, I had a good male figure in my life and he treated my aunt really well.

The day they moved out was one of the saddest in my life, it meant I would go back to being ignored or yelled at for just existing. Even though he no longer lived with us I never forgot the way my uncle treated me, I would look forward to their visits every time.

My Husband

Before I met my husband I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married or have children, I was pretty content in the fact that I would be single Aunty Lynnette, the cool and strict aunt. For whatever reasons my cousins believed I was a traveling girl? Meaning that I had many boyfriends and several sexual encounters. That couldn’t be farther from the truth, I didn’t do much as kiss a guy until my husband.

I mean sure I had lots of male friends but they were just friends, I also didn’t meet any of them in real life, my mother says I’m pretty unobservant because a lot of them were flirting with me but I never noticed it? I like my friends, they’re good men but not for me, they weren’t like my uncle none of the guys I met were like my uncle so definitely not someone I would be interested in forming a permanent bond with.

I spoke a bit on how I ended up with my husband in My Truths. Before we even had children I saw how he was with his niece and how he was with my nieces, it reminded me so much of my beloved uncle and they were both tall and wore glasses, if this wasn’t the universe talking to me I don’t know what it was.

Marvin and Chacha

One of my nieces was so taken with Marvin that she started calling him Daddy, I routinely call her his first child haha, I have to say that even though I was determined to find a man nothing like my father, Marvin and my father shared several similar tastes and qualities. I somehow found a man that was a balance between my father and my uncle.

The most notably quality between my father and Marvin? Determination. I swear I’ve never seen two people who would never give up until they have accomplished what they set out to do.

My Weekend in Annecy

Annecy, a city found in the Haute-Savoie Department of France. It’s located in the southeastern part of France, where Lake Annecy feeds into the Thiou River, this city has been on my bucket list for a few years.

I especially wanted to see Lake Annecy, La Vieille Ville, Pont des Amours, and Palais de l’Ile.

We left on Saturday around 12pm, the drive took around 2hrs, the weather was not the best, it was overcast and pretty chilly, yes, chilly in June! We’ve been having temperatures in the 50s which is about 12° Celsius.

As we were driving my son would get really excited seeing the clouds covering the mountains and driving through mist.

The most exciting thing though was driving through the mountains! I don’t mean over the mountains either, we drive through tunnels that went through the belly of the mountains, twice, and each time it was crazy.

Yeah, yeah, you might have don’t this before, probably many times, for us especially coming from an island without any mountains it was something really special to see and experience. I only wish I had taken a picture.

We reached the hotel about 2:55 or so, it was raining a bit and my husband realized we had forgotten the baby carrier, so there we were sans stroller and carrier so my husband had to heft the bag with our stuff and the little miss.

We hurried into the hotel and quickly got our room key, strangely enough there was only one key so we either had to all go out at the same time or some go and others stay behind. It was an ok hotel from the little I saw on our way to the room, there was a game room where Naveen wanted to spend some time. The elevator ride was terrible, it was so jerky, and I got bad motion sickness.

When we arrived at the room I noticed it was kind of small, there were two full size beds, one fairly close to the door and the other closer to the opposite wall, Naveen was only to happy to have such a big bed all to himself. I think miss lady believed the other one was for her.

We took a little rest, change Oyanie’s diaper and feed her then we were off!

First we stopped at Burger King so that the bigger people could eat then we visited the lake, the rain was still coming down, because we were closer to the lake the wind was really strong and those two things made it pretty cold.

Without the carrier, Oyanie ended up wrapped in her father’s coat, we tried to keep her as well as possible while taking in the sights.

The Pont des Amours wasn’t far from the lake, just had to keep walking and there we were, a little ways from the bridge I spotted a giant bow and arrow. I haven’t been able to find any information on it yet but I probably am not searching for the right terms.

Pont des Amours
Giant Bow and Arrow

Naveen was only too happy to have space to run around and explore. He wanted to keep walking but it was still raining and Oyanie was getting tired. We decided to head back to the hotel.

For dinner we had pizza from Domino’s, it’s been many years since I’ve had a pizza from there, I found the pizzas to be pretty small, we ordered two and had really tiny containers of ice cream and some kind of dessert with chocolate. I didn’t eat the chocolate dessert. The ice cream was enough for me.

It was a bit difficult to get Oyanie to sleep and after trying and trying she finally went to sleep but I ended up not being able to fall asleep, I don’t know if I was too hot or if I was just too wired to sleep, whatever it was I ended up just laying there twisting and turning the whole night.

My phone was charging in Marvin’s side of the bed and I didn’t want to wake anyone up trying to reach so I tried to wait patiently until everyone woke up. Thankfully Marvin woke up long enough to hand me my phone.

Finally everyone was up and it was time to check out of the hotel but first Oyanie got a bottle.

I hadn’t noticed it before when we arrived but downstairs in the lobby there’s a statue of a red cow.

Everyone was hungry do we decided to go to the bakery, unfortunately the bakery had a long line as they only allowed one customer in at a time, we were too hungry to wait in line do we took a walk looking for other places to eat.

Every so often Marvin would stop to look at menus or Naveen would watch stalls with people selling toys.

Finally, after waking for what seemed like forever, we went into French Coffee Shop, Marvin asked me what I wanted and I looked over the offerings. There were lots of muffins and some other things but what caught my attention was the cheesecake. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it before but I love cheesecake, if I see it I will always want it, so when Marvin asked me again what I wanted without hesitation I said cheesecake.

Now, things could have gone either good or bad because not everyone can make cheesecake.

Thankfully, this was not the case, nope, this cheesecake was delicious, it was utterly divine, like if anyone would have tried to ask me to taste some I’d stuff the whole thing in my mouth or lick it.

I had to restrain myself from licking the cardboard but I sure did lick the spoon. Breakfast over with, we walked back to the car and began the drive to go home.

Now, we’re home, I’m very tired so will probably end this here.

My Truths

This is going to be a heavy piece, it will involve speech about molestation, if that’s one of your triggers I’d suggest skipping this post, with that said I’m going to talk about something that I’ve talked a little about before but never in my blog. I want to change that, I want to speak my truth so others can understand certain aspects of my life and how I’ve processed it.

So, here we go…

This is a memory that is clear as day in my head even though it happened over twenty years ago.

Imagine if you will, this thin, small child, five almost six years old, quiet, she doesn’t say a thing. Expressionless the whole day. This vulnerable innocent child was me.

It was a new school, new people, new everything, I was in first grade and still mute even though they said children are only shy at first. The class was about twenty students maybe more maybe less, the size didn’t important, the children aren’t either, except for two. A boy and a girl.

I had no interactions with these two, never sat near them, never played with them, but these two affected me in a way nothing else has ever done.

It was not a normal day, we were not in class, no, we were in the school’s cafeteria. There was an event going on but I can’t remember what it was about, doesn’t matter, I was sitting at a table far away from everyone except for the boy E and the girl K. I can’t remember the names of the other students but I remember these two, I don’t know how I feel about their names, a curious thing, I don’t hate it but I won’t speak it. Ever.

I don’t know why but K decided to notice me that day, maybe it’s because we were so far apart from everyone else but she was sitting right next to me.

It’s going to get a bit graphic and I apologise but she stuck her hand under my skirt and fondled me, she pulled her hand out and said “smell yourself”. I had never had the inappropriate touch talk, no, that came later, so, as you can no don’t tell I was confused and didn’t know what to do. The boy E never touched me but he did not tell her to stop either, instead what he did was laugh and I didn’t understand that either.

I never told anyone about what happened, not my best friend, not my parents, I think I wanted to forget it ever happened. I buried it so far that I just never thought about it. That is until I was in my early 20s. I was talking to someone about rape and molestation and it was like opening a door. I remembered everything all at once.

It explained why I had an aversion to being friends with girls, why I never felt comfortable around them, why I felt different to my peers.

I talked about being The Useless Sibling but now I knew why. I up to this day have trouble accepting hugs and being touched, I still feel a little uncomfortable around women and I honestly don’t feel attraction. I honestly thought I was asexual because I’ve had people I thought were attractive I’ve never envisioned anything other than being friends, I had one or two I’ve called boyfriend but in truth it was just in name. I have never wanted to be physical with any of them.

The day I met my husband was like being awoken, it’s corny as hell but I often wondered what it would feel like just to be held. We lived in different countries then so there was no way to find out. The day he asked to visit, I swear I almost fainted, I asked my parents and they were fine. Yes, I still lived at home so when my husband came to visit he met all my family at once.

That first day was full of nerves, this guy I’d spent two years chatting to was finally here, the first time in my life I felt like a woman and I wanted to explore.

Demisexual, you don’t feel attraction until you’ve formed a deep connection, I now had an answer for my lack of interest in guys other than being friends.

On the subject of friends, although I’m still a little uncomfortable, I now have a few women I call friend.

I won’t allow a girl who was most probably being molested herself to dictate who I can and can’t be friends with.

Oh, if you’re not following the Facebook page, I had mentioned that I would do a special post for Father’s day so be on the lookout for that.

Products I want to try

So, there’s a few products that I’m itching to try. A lot of these products are not new but I’ve been eyeing them for a long time and just haven’t gotten around to trying them. They are all hair products because I love to try new products to find ones that play nice with my hair. I have a pretty big bottle of shampoo and some conditioners which is why I haven’t bought any new products in a while.

First up is one of my favorite brands when it comes to keeping my hair moisturized and healthy.

Garnier

Interestingly enough it’s not one of their Ultra Doux produits but rather their Fructis Hair Food line, there’s the Nourishing Banana Shampoo, Nourishing Banana Conditioner, and the Nourishing Banana Hair Mask.

They’re labeled as being new nutrition for hungry hair with the Banana aimed towards dry hair.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9G4YsIitJl/

Activilong

I’ve used one of Activilong’s products before and liked how it left my hair, I used the Leave-In Acticurl Hydra, with Pitaya, Glycerin, and Aloe Vera, it was not cheap but not that expensive, I’d say it’s the splurge range. It’s a really good leave-in conditioner but unfortunately besides the price I can only find it at Carrefour which isn’t close to my home at all.

The products I’m interested in trying are the Actiforce Black Castor Oil Leave-In and the Actiforce Black Castor Puff Cream. The leave-in is aimed towards low porosity hair and is a more liquid texture than the puff cream. I’m not sure what porosity my hair is which is why I want to try both to see which my hair prefers.

Unfortunately it seems the puff cream is no longer available on Activilong website, I hope I can find a container at Carrefour when I go there next time.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B_aOY9eoM5W/

Le Petit Marseillais

The only hair product from Le Petit Marseillais was a Leave-In Conditioner. I used to use the Le Petit Soin longueurs & pointes Nutrition Intense, aux 2 huiles karité & argan. Admittedly, it wasn’t the best leave-in I’d ever used but it did the job when I had nothing else to use.

The products I have my eyes on are the Nutrition Richesse Argan Shampoo and Conditioner for dry hair. Strangely, on the website the Shampoo is labeled as Infusion Nutrition.

It was a no brainer for me to add these to my list because I absolutely love products with Argan in it.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8LevvlA98B/

Herbal Essences

I don’t think I’ve ever used any product from Herbal Essences before but when I saw their Real Botanicals Argan Oil Repair Shampoo and Conditioner alongside their Argan Oil & Aloe Repairing Hair Mask I was filled with deep longing.

Sadly, Herbal Essences doesn’t seem to have a website for France and I can only find the shampoo on Amazon. One can only hope that I’ll spot these beauties in Carrefour.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B8U-aHLntgx/

Well, there you have it, all the products I’m really interested in, when my shampoo and conditioner run out I’m definitely going to have to pick one of these to try out, but that really depends on wether or not I can find it easily in Super U.

What’s occupying my time?

I’ve been remiss in updating the blog, I’m sorry, I kept telling myself now is the perfect time but I just get distracted with other stuff.

I’ve been writing letters on the Slowly app, which I’ve talked about here.

So far it’s been really good letters with one or two exceptions, if you get a really icky letter you don’t have to reply and you can report the user which I had to do yesterday. This person sent me this letter:

This was the very first letter they sent and then they followed that up with a media sharing request.

If you’re looking for a partner look somewhere else thank you very much!

Have also been spending my time on reddit, especially on the Ask the Caribbean subreddit, I’m always looking to interact with fellow West Indians and I have not been disappointed in the subreddit.

AskTheCaribbean

Also while perusing Instagram I got a follow from an old classmate but received some pretty iffy messages, was this the work of a scammer or was I being an ass to someone? 🤔 Read and decide for yourself.

So, was I justified in playing around with this person?

Oh, I should also mention that Oyanie made 3 months on the 22nd, my baby is growing way too fast!

When I have a little free time I read a little, I’m currently reading A Mermaid’s Kiss by Joey W. Hill

The synopsis reads like this:

The angelic Jonah has been battling the Dark Ones for centuries. But his noble spirit has begun to tire with the weight of war – allowing a Dark One to strike a blow that severs his wings and knocks him into the sea.

Anna is a Daughter of Arianne – a direct descendant of the mermaid of legend. Anna’s longing for love compels her to risk her very life to protect and hide the fallen Jonah. And the longer Jonah delays his return to the heavens, the more Anna’s secret passions are tempted.

But as she falls more in love with him, Anna wonders if she’s destined to lose her heart and her dreams to save Jonah’s soul?

Apparently it’s part of a trilogy with a few other novellas, I don’t know how I feel about it since I’m not very far yet, I can say that the main characters annoy me…

I’ve also started watching a show on Netflix called You, it’s a thriller about a book store manager who one day meets an aspiring writer and becomes obsessed with her. Here’s the synopsis :

What would you do for love? For a brilliant male bookstore manager who crosses paths with an aspiring female writer, this question is put to the test. A charming yet awkward crush becomes something even more sinister when the writer becomes the manager’s obsession. Using social media and the internet, he uses every tool at his disposal to become close to her, even going so far as to remove any obstacle –including people — that stands in his way of getting to her.

From the POV of the book store manager I feel like they’re trying to get you to sympathize with him and accept that he had good reasons for doing what he’s done. If you haven’t watched it yet, give it a go and see how you like it because I’m hooked!

Aiovak Hair Care

Hey guys!

I thought I spoke about this company before but apparently I didn’t which is a shame because it’s pretty new but their products are quite the rage. I’ve only tried the Ginger Gooseberry Hair Mask which I posted about in my Instagram.

When I tried out the Mask it was the only product offered by Aiovak and they didn’t have a website or Instagram account, I can’t be sure but I think the Mask took a week to reach me which is pretty good considering it came from the US.

The Mask smelled like Gooseberry and had a watery consistency. It ran everywhere when I put it in my hair but it worked like a charm!

Ginger Gooseberry Hair Mask

Now I’m happy to say that Aiovak has rebranded and launched their website at: http://www.aiovakhaircare.com/

You can also follow their Facebook page: Aiovak Hair Care, LLC

And their Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/aiovakhaircare/

Products offered at Aiovak now are:

Leave-In Conditioner

https://www.aiovakhaircare.com/product-page/leave-in-conditioner

The Leave-In comes in two sizes 8 oz for $15 and 16 oz for $26

Ginger Gooseberry Hair Mask

https://www.aiovakhaircare.com/product-page/hair-mask

The Hair Mask only comes in 8 oz at $15

Hair Oil

https://www.aiovakhaircare.com/product-page/hair-oil

The Hair Oil comes in two sizes 4 oz for $10 and 8 oz for $17

At those prices what are you waiting for? Grab some products and get to styling your gorgeous locks!

Slowly – Connect to the World! (Review)

Five days ago I was scrolling through the Play Store, it’s something I do when I’m bored, sometimes I find something interesting and others I just leave without downloading anything.

That day I came across an app called Slowly – Connect to the World!

Its About this app has the following to say:

🏆 WINNER – Google Play Awards 2019: Best Breakthrough App

🏆 WINNER – Google Play Best of 2018: Best Hidden Gem

✍️ Write letters. Make friends. Exchange Languages.

SLOWLY lets you meet pen friends from your smartphone! Match with someone that shares your passion, write a letter and collect stamps from around the world. Speak your mind – one letter at a time!

SLOWLY is not your typical networking or dating app – we’re bringing the traditional pen friend experience to your smartphone.

The app is created for those who yearns for meaningful conversations with people in the era of instant messaging. We hope to connect people around the world at a slower but better pace – one letter at a time.

Meet a new pen friend, seal your letter & place a stamp – start connecting with the world on SLOWLY!

Features
– Mailing time depends on where you & your pen friend live.
– A nickname & an avatar is all you need. Speak your mind & connect freely to the world.
– Matches based on common interests & languages.
– Collect & unlock hidden stamps!

Slowly app

I made my profile and selected my topics of interest.

I’ve been using the app these past five days and have received 12 letters and made nine penpals. The letters depending on where they are coming from can take anywhere from 2 hours to 2 days.

You can also collect Stamps, some of them are location based while others are linked to achievements you complete within the app.

My penpals so far are from France, Czech Republic, Turkey, US Virgin Islands, Dominican Republic, Australia, United States, and the Philippines.

I’m enjoying the app so far and look forward to receiving more interesting letters and talking to more people.

If you’re interested in sending me a letter through the app my id is J0RP9W.

23andMe Neanderthal Report Update

Recently 23andMe updated their Neanderthal Report, you get this Report when you take their DNA test and it tells you how many Neanderthal variants you inherited from your ancestors.

If you don’t know what a Neanderthal is, 23andMe define it as:

Neanderthals were prehistoric humans who interbred with modern humans before disappearing around 40,000 years ago.

I wish I had taken a screenshot of my variants before the update but I knew it was 102 variants, here is my updated Report:

From 102 to 68!

Not all of the variants I agree with, for instance, I have a terrible fear of heights, I can’t look out the windows or go into balconies of very tall buildings, I just can’t do it.

I do agree with the others, I do indeed have a hard time parting with rarely used possessions, I got that from my father. I have a terrible sense of direction, I can get lost very easily which is why I don’t go out walking by myself.

I can’t really say if I agree or disagree with the salty over sweet one, they both have a place in my heart and sometimes I will eat something salty with something sweet, like I love popcorn with chocolate, it’s delicious.

While this was a nice little update I’m interested in seeing if they will ever update the haplogroups.

Only time will tell.