This is me tonight, September 14, 2013, I’m in the last week of 7 months and the countdown has really begun. Just 9 weeks to go until my bean is out of there, I don’t want him coming before he is ready but I am so ready for him to be out. Do you notice how much fatter my arms look? It’s because I am now 95.2 lbs, I have gained back all the weight I lost and gained 2 ounces, it might not sound like a lot but from dropping to 83 lbs and being so sick for so long it is a major victory to me. I hope I continue to gain weight and reach 100 lbs before he is born. I have never been over 98 lbs in my life so being 100 lbs will be a life long dream.
I wonder how much bigger my belly will get because it is giving me so much back ache.
This week has been even hotter than the last 103-110 degrees?! Braxton Hicks contractions, nearly passing out when I stand up, feeling faint when it takes a while to eat. At least the kids will be going back to school so I won’t have to hear screaming and running. Naveen has also wiggled his way to the bottom so now I’m getting a lot of pelvic pain as well as BH contractions and increase bladder pressure.
Still passing out but now I can’t drink anything, no water, no fuze, no juice, not even ice pops are feeling good in my belly. I think my blood sugar is pretty high, I have to stop eating honey on my breads and putting butter on bagels. My appointment confirmed it, my blood sugar is high, I didn’t pass the glucose test so now they have me on the Gestational Diabetes diet which pretty much cuts out a lot of the things they told me to eat to gain weight. The doctor found Naveen’s head low in my pelvis and asked me if I could feel it too, I didn’t feel anything at all and thought he was talking bumkus. Naveen didn’t much care for it because he started to move around a lot.
Still passing out and having BH contractions, my mother is convinced that he will come in late October. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore, it wants to tip over, I have bad backache, pelvic pain, nausea has come back. I wonder if I will ever feel normal again or if this thing has ruined my life forever. I want to be able to eat, drink, sleep, walk and not feel like I will pass out on the ground. I’m falling into a depression again, when have I not been depressed this pregnancy? I’m afraid to know how it will be after he is born, will I ever be able to feel good about myself again? Will I always view him as the cause of all this? Will I love him?