Anxiety…

So last night, Naveen went with me, my mother, and my father to see Think Like a Man Too, this was his 4th time going to the movies and it was bad, not as bad as going to see Godzilla and How to Train Your Dragon 2 but still pretty bad. We walked into the theater and sat down, he was fine, there was a few people in the theater but not too many, well more people started to come in and he looked around and started to bawl. Then the commercials came on and they were pretty loud which made him cry even more. 
I tried to feed him to kind of distract him but he wasn’t having it, he started to push and throw his hands around, my mother had already seen the movie so she took him and went to the back with him (Thank you Mami!) I’m told he calmed down and went to sleep, he was still sleeping when she came back, it was going good but then a really funny part of the movie came up and all the laughter made him jump awake and it was back to square one. I tried rocking him, holding him, feeding him, but he not interested in any of it, he went back to my mother and calmed down again, my mother has the magic touch, what am I doing wrong that I can’t get him to calm down for me? Having 6 kids must have made my mother some kind of kid magnet because all of her grand kids go to her for comfort and they fight over her too! 
It’s a sobering thought though, when we leave the Island for France, I won’t have my mother there with me to hold Naveen, she won’t get to see him grow up and I won’t have my mother to go to the movies with, yea I’ll finally have my little family together but I’m going to lose my family in the process. It’s not like they’re right next to each other or even 6 miles away, according to Google it’s 4,248 miles apart.

My mother is a big coward when it comes to planes too, she can barely make it on a flight from St. Croix to Florida so I know she will never get on a plane to fly to France. I’m not even betting on any of my siblings visiting, I’m convincing myself that I’m going to be solo, the lone Crucian in French territory, unless I count Naveen but he’s going to grow up there so he’ll be more French than Crucian. 
Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that I won’t enjoy living in France but when you grow up on a tight knit little Island with a specific culture that is found only on that little Island you tend to see the world differently than people from other places. I can write a book on the differences I have noticed already but I’ll leave that for another post. It’s time I go back to chasing behind my son and enjoying my family while they are still around.
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