February, what a month!


Usually, I spend February by celebrating my birthday and when I was back home in St. Croix going to the Agricultural & Food Fair, I have not found anything over here that can be an annual birthday event. I spend my birthday either taking my son to school or staying home with him and doing nothing. I wish there were things for us to do but if it requires us interacting with others I don’t find that a suitable birthday enjoyment. If I’m lucky I go to a movie with my husband but we haven’t done that in a while.

This year was my 32nd birthday and honestly, I was numb during the whole thing. I didn’t get a video call from my family, I didn’t get to go out, and my son fractured his elbow two night before and we spent all night and the next day going from hospital to the next to get his elbow attended to. I was wiped out and would have been fine to stay home and do nothing but we went to the movies and I did enjoy it even though it was in French and I understood less than half of what was going on.

I want more out of my 32nd year but I am stuck in figuring out just what I want.

I picked back up my crocheting and successfully completed some small projects while continuing to work on a scarf I decided to make.

My scarf in progress:

Snickers keeping me company while I work on my rows.

I am almost finished with a little teddy bear I am making, it just needs to be stuffed and have the final touches done:

Now for my completed works, I recently picked up a French Knitter, a French Knitter is also known as Spool Knitting, Corking, or Tomboy Knitting. It’s a form of knitting that uses a spool with a number of nails around the rim to produce a narrow tube of fabric, similar to i-cord. The spools usually have four or five nails mine had four bendy things lol, here’s a picture so you can see what I am referring to:

If you look closely in the background you can see the frustratingly difficult instructions I was supposed to follow to create a mouse. I was close to pulling my hair out when I looked on Youtube for a video to help me understand those impossible to decipher depictions. I was successful in following along to the video and made my first mouse. It was supposed to be for Snickers but…

It was way too cute! I also didn’t want her swallowing the eyes if she got too rough with the little thing. I decided to crochet her a mouse that she can be rough with and set out to find a good pattern.

I made her this:

It honestly looks more like a Rat than a mouse but meh she likes those kinds of critters. I made some embellishments on the pattern so my Rat is special lol. Hopefully, Snickers likes her Rat friend and I can move onto finishing my scarf and another project I started (Mesh Hat).

Before I forget, Naveen only had to wear his cast for three weeks, initially, they said four weeks but his elbow healed really fast and well and last week Friday he got it removed.

Until next time!

Iron Deficiency, Birthday Parties, & Stress, Oh my!

I know, I haven’t been here in forever but I’m here now. I’ll try to catch you up on all the things that’s going on with me and Naveen.

On Aug 28 he made 10 months, which is crazy because just yesterday he was a newborn and before that he was a bump in the belly and even farther back he wasn’t even a thought in my head. I never in my life imagined the little boy that I see beside me right now, I’ve dreamed of a son before but I never thought I’d actually have one because I couldn’t imagine myself as a mother. I don’t think I see myself as other people see me, inside I’m still the same person I was when I was younger, I have grown yes but I’m still essentially the same person, the person who used to dream of one day being an author or an artist, the person who thought the world of her own mother and never felt like she could be the same kind of mother. I know that I can never be like my mother, she is a hard worker who did what ever it took to make sure her kids were taken care of and fought for the rights of her kids, I can be that kind of person but in my own way. I’m nothing like my mother, my sisters, my aunts, or my cousins, I am me and I have to do things in my own way, now that that’s out of the way let’s move on to more important things like Naveen’s routine blood test for WIC.

On July 28 Naveen went for a blood test to check his blood level and to see if everything was fine, when we got the results back everything came back as abnormal, they told me it probably meant he needed iron and it wasn’t no bog deal but to make sure to show it to his pediatrician. His next Doctor appointment was on August 19 so I figured I’d give him some of that Poly-vi-sol vitamin just to be on the safe side. When his Doctor saw the results she was appalled, said it was way too low and that he’d need to go in for several blood tests to make sure that he just has low iron and not Sickle cell anemia. My heart just about dropped into my stomach, the thought of Naveen having Sickle cell and nobody even knowing at the hospital when he was born was a frightening thought. I was so worried, I couldn’t sleep, I would just watch Naveen and pray that everything was fine and he wasn’t sick. The tests were suppose to be very expensive and the little bit of money I have been able to make working went into diaper and wipes, sometimes clothes and lastly shoes for Naveen. I had no idea how I was going to pay for the tests, my mother said she’ll try to help with some but she didn’t have that much money anyway and I already owed her for the last Doctor appointment.
Thanks to Naveen’s Papa we had the money to go to the lab to get his blood tests done, it was $70 for the tests they did on Island and two other tests would be sent away to the states and I’d be billed.

On September 3rd we went to the lab, Naveen already hates this lab because he came here to take his first blood test which was just a finger prick, this time they were going to draw blood out a vein, the nurse brought out 4 huge vials and set about to take my baby’s blood, my mother didn’t think they should take all that blood from such a small baby and especially since he was very anemic, the nurse said it was Doctor’s orders but my mother put her shoe down and the head nurse had to come and she agreed that they didn’t need all that blood so they’d have to fill the vial only half way. The nurse stuck poor Naveen in his arm and attempted to get his blood but Naveen is a fighter and he was screaming and kicking and the blood just wouldn’t come out so we called a halt to it and asked for a refund since this nurse clearly didn’t know what she was doing. We went to the Doctor office and she gave us a referral for the do the blood test at the hospital where the nurses were more competent. So the next day we’re at the hospital to do the blood tests and I’m so nervous because I have no idea what this test will show, I hate to hear my baby cry and see them stick needles in his arm to take his blood. This time there are two nurses, one to help me hold down Naveen and the other to take his blood, it went so fast and they only took two small vials but it cost me $200. I’m fine with the $200 since they actually knew what they were doing and they were very pleasant.

Skip it to 2 days later and I get a call from his Pedi, he’s severely anemic and we have to start therapy right away. I think I was numb at this point, I just got up left the house and picked up his prescription to start him on his Iron supplement. He’s taking 1 ml daily for a week then 2 ml for a week, then 3 ml the next week all the way up until he is taking 5 ml. The first day he took his iron was not easy, I tried to mix it with water and he absolutely refused to drink it so I ended up having to mix in some juice and he drank it with no problem. I have no idea if it’s increasing his iron levels yet but I have noticed an increased appetite, he now eats more table food than he was before, it’s not a nibble or two and then  leave. We have another Dr. appointment next week Friday, guess we’ll see if he has gained any weight and they’ll send us for another blood test.

Now about his birthday….
Next  month my baby will be 1 year old and I have nothing, no invitation, no theme, no plans, nothing. I know he won’t remember any of it but it feels like such a failure that I can’t even give him some cupcakes and a plate with his favorite character on it. I’m so depressed but I don’t show it because I have to be strong for my son and do the things he does need like iron supplements and blood tests. Hopefully I can at least give him a cupcake with a number 1 candle…

8 Months

On June 28, 2014 my little baby made 8 months, it was also the 8th birthday of my second niece, the day before (June 27) had been the first birthday of my 4th niece. To be honest the entire month had been crammed with birthdays of cousin’s, a brother, brothers-in-law, uncles, and my grandfather.

I can’t believe my baby is 8 months, I guess I’ll be saying this for the rest of my life, it’s really unbelievable that last year I was 5 months pregnant and not even feeling any kicks yet, didn’t have much of a belly either, now my little boy is holding on to the sofa to stand up and trying to walk.

Now for my niece’s 8th birthday I made her a Doll Cake, I had only done this once before, and that was a good 5 years ago. I got frustrated because I couldn’t take my time on it so I feel like it wasn’t my best. My niece loved it so I guess it wasn’t so bad.
Cutting the bottom to even it out.
Checking to see how the lady sits on the cake.
After a lot of frustration got the frosting as smooth as I could.

After 5 years maybe it’s not so bad but it’s still far from what I can accomplish, with some more practice I’m sure I can do a Doll Cake I can be proud of again.

Aww Shucks, I’m 27!

So last week Monday was my birthday and I didn’t do anything for it, I was fine with it since the Sunday we went to the agricultural fair and spent three hours there, I had him in his carrier and walking around was fine but standing in one place is the big problem, especially when he falls asleep.
When he falls asleep in that carrier all his weight pulls down on my back and shoulders and I have to sit, luckily we were able to get a picnic table to sit and eat so I got to rest my back for a while. I can’t believe how big he got too, when I first started to put him in the carrier two months ago his head was not visible above the top, now my little baby can see over the top and look at everything, pretty soon he will be able to turn around in the carrier and look out instead of inwards.

Yesterday, I was watching all the cardboard I had stashed away (Yes, I am a bit of a hoarder, I always think, let me keep this I can use it) and thought I would make a board game for my nieces. The ideas started pouring in after that initial thought, I developed characters, I found a good board layout, simple and easy because my nieces are 3-8 and anything too long they lose interest in. As far as the characters, I know how those girls are and they fight tooth and nail over what they think is the best character so I let them help design their own character so they will always have a character to play with and they won’t be stuck with one they don’t like. I’m still working on a name for the game, the object of the game, the rules, and the game play.
I’m actually enjoying the development stage of the game, it makes me feel like I’m doing something instead of sitting around waiting for work.

My other project on the other hand is moving pretty slow, I finished the first chapter very fast but now the second chapter is fighting to come out, I know I just need to find a quiet place to concentrate and write but right now that seems to be unlikely to happen. Little man is not happy to sit and play, he’s more interested in being held so he can stand and bounce. He hates sitting, he hates laying down, oh no my almost 4 month old baby wants to stand and he just can’t because his neck muscles still aren’t fully developed and my arms get too much of a workout dealing with his bouncing.

In a few years you might hear all about my famous son who is a big time ballet dancer in France. Heavens know the boy has the leg muscles for it. I can see him now in his white leotard, twirling and leaping across the stage and Mama being so proud tears flow from her eyes.

To be truthful this was suppose to have been posted a day after my birthday but I’ve been so busy that I only now got the chance to finish the post. That boy just does not let me do anything anymore. I haven’t combed my hair in weeks, I have to end this here because once more duty calls!

Birthday with a new baby

In exactly 5 days it will be my 27th birthday and I have no clue what to do to celebrate it. I have never really celebrated my birthday, it has always been just another day and gets me depressed, last year I had one of the best birthday surprises I have ever gotten in my whole life. A trip to France. I don’t know if I would trust going on another trip since that is how Navi was conceived. I love Navi but I do not love pregnancy or labor.
I’m not even sure that it will be a good birthday just for the fact that I did something so amazing last year, how can I top going to France? I did so many things I have never done in my life before and will probably never get to do again.

I figured I’d go to our Agricultural fair with Navi and that’s it, I mean there isn’t any restaurant that I’m dying to go to, no club I am even remotely interested in seeing, nothing that is really calling out to me. Maybe that’s my problem, I’m so used to doing nothing that when I get a chance to do it I can’t find the enthusiasm for it.
As the day gets closer and closer I am becoming even more depressed,who really gets excited about getting another year older.

I think I will make myself some cupcakes, or buy a cake, I am so not interested in making my own cake, there is just no satisfaction to be had from that, I can’t even pretend to be surprised that I got a cake or cupcakes because I would be the one doing it.

All I can do is wait and see what the day brings me.