Mute Again

It’s been a good writing day, I believe I’ve spoken about my Wattpad account before where I have three published works, one super short story Vishal and two poetry based works Tales of An Introverted Expat and The Silence Inside Me.

I updated the cover of The Silence Inside Me and added a new poem.

Cover art by Melanie Wasser on Unsplash

The title of the poem is Mute Again and I’ll share it here with you.

Mute Again

I was doing good, I was talking to the world, my words were finally being heard and I could express my every thought, and then…

Then I moved.

To another country where they didn’t speak my language and I didn’t speak theirs.

I was back at square one.

I studied every day, I watched all the movies, all the videos, I listened to music, I read so many stories.

And yet…

Here I am.

Mute again.

Another group of people who don’t understand.
Another group of people who label me, unfriendly, snobby, shy.

I want to scream, I’m not shy, I’m not unfriendly, I’m not a snob.

But once again.

My words fail me, they stay lodged in the back of my throat, they abandon me when I need them the most.

I just want to be free.

Free to speak, free to show my emotions, free to be me.

But here I am again.

Locked in my own mind.

Here I am looking for those who know, those who understands, those who feel as I do, those silent people with so much to say.

My people.

Hope you enjoyed it and if you’re interested in reading more you can visit my profile LLDove.

Writing

Bonjour à tous!

When in France right?

For the past two days, I have been inspired to revisit an old story I started working on about two years ago. All my interest in it had fizzled and it just sat there stagnant until Thursday when I was going through my old stuff and saw it. Immediately I felt this need to dust it off and breathe some new life into it. It’s not finished by any means, you can say that it is barely begun so I won’t have a lot of work to dissect and can just start writing whenever I feel like it. I tried to remember just why I never began my story and why it was put into a coma and the only thing I could think of was that I didn’t have the voice to tell it. I firmly believe that if you haven’t connected with your storyline on a deep level it will never get anywhere. A forced storyline is never a good thing and if you have to force it why are you writing it in the first place?

I read over my files, I keep very detailed records of my storylines whether it’s in old notebooks or digital notebook on Evernote or Google Docs. I have literally hundreds of half-built worlds and storylines, finished short stories that need a good editing. What I do not have is the desire to do what I know needs to be done. It has been so hard for me to push through my depression and get back to what I have always enjoyed but this month I feel like I will be able to accomplish much.

I do a bit of poetry and have some works in progress on Wattpad that I have been focusing on lately. If you’re interested and registered on the site you can view my profile here at LLDove.

My pieces are anything but popular but I feel like they fall into very specific niches and they are special to me especially Tales of an Introverted Expat and The Silence Inside Me, both are poetry-based and reference my depression, anxiety, and selective mutism to an extent.

The piece I am working on now can be typed as a Romantic Comedy, it is called One Night Romeo.

Gia Joseph was tired of the small town she grew up in where everyone knew her as the recluse, she wanted a fresh start somewhere new and exciting. It was cliche to move to France with the hopes of finding love but what Gia found was an unforgettable one night stand. She couldn't get this guy out of her head and against her better judgment began looking for him hoping that he was looking for her too. The problem with finding someone in a big city is that it's nearly impossible to run into the same person twice, somehow fate intervened and Gia found her one night Romeo, unfortunately, he didn't remember who she was!
Gia spends the entire summer manufacturing coincidental meet-ups with the hopes of reminding her Romeo of who she was and why he should be more than a one night Romeo.

I can’t say when it will be finished but I do plan on working on it until I am satisfied with it.